4/19/10

Yeah, I know......it's been a minute. A lot has gone down in the past three months so we have plenty to discuss. I got some guest contributors lined up to shake things up around here. You ready?

DOES IT MATTER WHO IM BANGIN....WHERE'S THE LUV?

Like I do every morning, try to get my ass out of bed, say a prayer, eat sum food, watch tv and catch up on the latest news that transpired while I was asleep, and eventually get my daily grind on. However this Tiger coverage is really starting to piss me off. SO WHAT Tiger has been letting his libido run wild. Isn't that shit between him and Elin? I don't give a fuck who Tiger is fuckin it does not affect me or anything I'm trying to do so.........

However this leads me to a bigger question, why is everyone so fascinated by what goes on in people's bedrooms? If you ask me Tiger has been focused on everything GOLF since he was a little lad, won the Masters, all these fuckin PGA tourneys, shit there is nothing left for him to do but smash random chicks. Hell, he probably missed out all thru high school and his brief stint at Stanford because he was swingin a club so let Tiger live his life. In all actuality Tiger has a little bit of swag now if you ask me because shit before now I really didn't pay that dude much attention because well thats another story....

I was having a conversation with a female the other day about relationships and she stated that sometimes she is attracted to other people and its just a physical thing and sometimes she wants to explore that but not kick it with that person long-term. In other words, smash and go, no commitment, no attachment, while still being in LOVE with her main dude. And she is upfront with her dude about it. And it got me to thinking, infidelity does not mean that you do not LOVE the person you are with, you may have seen someone that turned you on, wanted to smash and that was that. Talk to me chasers let me know what you think?

Que

THIS TIME

"This time I want it all, this time I want it all, showing you all the cards, giving you all my heart, this time I'll take the chance, this time I'll be a man, I can be all you need, This time it's all of me"

- John Legend, This Time, Evolver

Adonis told me about this fuckin song a while back, but most of the time I'm only checkin for the songs with the hot beat. I need songs that I can nod my head to. But I guess sometimes its cool to just relax, fuck that! While I have listened to John Legend's Evolver CD I always skipped this track. It wasn't until I was watching the final episode of The Game on BET, you know the show that CW took off the air. The same network that fucked over Girlfriends. Yeah the network that seems to fuck over all the black shows produced by Mara Brock Akil. Yeah I'm bitter over it. Anyway, when Melanie and Derwin were exchanging vows and everyone's life on the show was taking different turns, this dayum song was playing in the background and for a minute I got teary eyed. Because for that quick second, yeah real quick, I realized that I DO WANT IT ALL. I would be content in finding that one special person to give my love to but AM I TOO LATE? AM I LATE BECAUSE I really like this person now and I'm afraid to tell them how I really feel about them because I don't want to seem vulnerable and put myself out there. Scared to let them know that I wake up in the morning with them on my mind and go to sleep thinking about them. Scared to tell them that when I see there name flash across my caller ID I get all excited. Scared to tell them when I miss their call I'm like SHIT! Scared to tell them that I want to take things further and see where it leads. How do I do this? I don't know where to start? Usually I wait for the other person to tell me how they feel and I go forward. But this time it's different. It seems like neither one of us wants to be the first one to say "Hey let's take this further?" So tell me my fellow readers.....What do I do? How do I drop hints without being direct to see where the other person's head is at? Maybe this is my chance....HELP ME! See if we got some real G's out there.

:)

Since I was a kid I've always liked to get mail. You know the kind of mail where the person actually writes your name on the envelope. I received something today from a very dear friend; someone that I adore alot. 43 minutes later I'm still smiling...........


Adonis

Attention Deficit-Take 2

Oh it's getting crazy .....I don't want to hurt my baby. And I know it's suppose to be the last time for you and I but let’s not end this way, let’s wait another day. I don’t want to let you go so I just can't let her know. She don’t have to know. I know you're doing the same thing too and he don’t have to know - “She Don’t Have To Know” by John Legend

You know the story. Jack meets Kate. Jack dates Kate. Jack meets Juliet. Jack fucks around with Juliet while still with Kate. Why is it that we have such a hard time focusing our attention on one person? Though I’ve never been in Jack’s shoes (well, that one time doesn’t count), I’ve known quite a few people like him. Me personally, I like to just focus all my energy on one person. Dealing with more than one person requires too much time that I don’t have to waste. I’m a firm believer that if I’m feeling someone like that then there is no reason for my attention to be elsewhere. I’m not trying to divide my time and heart between two and three people. I guess you can attribute that to the fact that I know what I want. Too many people fall back on that bullshit of an excuse that goes something like “well I’ve been hurt in the past” or “I’m not ready for a relationship just yet”. Being hurt in the past is a valid reason for you to be cautious about entering into something serious with another individual. I get that. But don’t use that as your crutch for wanting to entertain other options while you are with someone else. I’ve been fortunate to experience love a few times in my life. In those relationships, I was content. I wasn’t out looking for the next best thing. Granted those individuals weren’t perfect, I loved them flaws and all. Oftentimes, people go out looking for that perfect mate. Because Juliet offers Jack something that Kate can’t does not make it okay for him to fool around with her too. We must understand there is no perfect partner. As someone just reminded me the other day, there are going to be times when you are not happy in your relationship. Each relationship is going to be challenged with arguments, trust issues, and other barriers. If you feel like you’re not able to work through those issues then bounce. Don’t inflict emotional pain onto someone else just because you can’t control your libido. Unlike Badu, maybe I don't understand the game. So again I ask the question: why do we have such a hard time focusing our attention on that one person? Is it a control issue? Perhaps it’s fear of commitment. Help ya boy understand. In the meantime, just remember Karma is a BAD BITCH!!!

Adonis

Attention Deficit

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, if left untreated, the persistent and pervasive effects of ADHD symptoms can insidiously and severely interfere with one’s ability to get the most of education, fulfill one’s potential in the workplace, ESTABLISH AND MAINTAIN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, and maintain a generally positive sense of self?

Fuck everything else I want to focus on the establish and maintain interpersonal relationships part of the definition. Damn ADHD is some serious shit, thanks Wale. Why is it that so many adults suffer from attention deficit when it comes to relationships? Is it because we are always looking for the next BIG thing? Is it because we are scared to tell the person we like or dating how we really feel about them so we take our mind off of it by occupying time with another who we could really give a damn about? (probably just a sex thing anyway) Scared to express emotions and appear to be vulnerable? Scared to be taken advantage of? I could go on and on, but at the end of the day, we have all been there before (or are currently there) so it is what it is. Meet me, Que. I want to be loved, I want to feel love, and I want to be in a monogamous situation. But the G in me wants to remain hardcore with the tough exterior. My attention deficit kicks in when I think I may be getting close to someone and I suddenly feel the need to pull back and safeguard my heart. Hey isn’t the single life all about fun anyway! Some may say that this type of behavior is the reason why I am single right now. Is it because I’ve seen so many failed relationships and vow to myself that I will never be taken advantaged of, walked over, or put up with anybody’s bullshit that it has hardened my heart? Is it because I’m waiting for the person to say I LOVE YOU first before I say it? Is it because karma is a bitch and I have not always been the best to people I’ve been involved with and hurt them without realizing it? I’m not perfect, although sometimes I think I am (big ass smile) but I do long to be with one person. But how do I go about doing it? 11/16/09 is the start of a new journey, a journey where YOU the readers will help me navigate this phenomenon we call dating and relationships. Also in the blog I will get in heated discussions with my fellow blogger, you will probably come to know him as the sensitive blogger (fuck emotions). Maybe some folks will offer breakthrough advice, maybe others will agree with me, while others may feel that I am full of shit. Maybe I will begin to finally break down the walls that are preventing me from opening myself up to a person and experiencing true love. Damn did I just say that shit.


Que

SNC-The Intro.....

Let me start off by saying that I am not a blogger. I am not a writer. I'm just Adonis, a dude that has opinions. I like to share those opinions with others that I know. But unlike some people, I actually care about the views and ideas of others. It all makes for good conversation.

You see it started as a joke. I was joking with one of my friends by telling him that I made this post on my blog. He laughed knowing that I didn't have a blog, but was a frequent visitor of a few. Then I started thinking, "it didn't have to be a joke". Maybe I could start one and allow it to serve as a platform for others to share their ideas and experiences.

My homie Que and I came up with the first discussion topic. Well actually I came up with the idea, lol. He encouraged me to actually follow through with it. I told him that I would only do so with his help. So here it goes..... Enjoy it.....Straight, No Chaser.